


The Life Plan

by Anonfandom101



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-02 12:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19198501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonfandom101/pseuds/Anonfandom101
Summary: Jackson Adley was born in Britain and lives in Milton on Saxon Gate main near a Gap. The only remotely remarkable thing about her life is the Gap store near her complex- I'd say her name is remarkable because she is in fact female, not male as the name would entail, but in today's day and age even that proves dull.That's the whole issue, the whole core of the story. Life is dull, aside from the Gap that's just stupid. However Jackson is lucky, very lucky - she finds a way to turn it all round for herself in a way no one ever had or will.(inspired by the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy)





	The Life Plan

Life. ( A brief albeit important prolouge ) What is life? a question that we all surely ask ourselves. Now, I could sit here and write theories and you could sit there or stand there, doing whatever you prefer - neither or both- I don't care, and read them or i could tell you the simple truth. Regardless of what life may or may not be one thing is for sure. Pause for dramatic effect. Life in it's concept and entirety - sucks. beyond life simply being the worst it is also stupendiously boring. That's where our story begins. CHAPTER ONE Life is dull. Extremely dull. So mind numbingly dull to the point where humans have taken it upon themselves, as the only known race in the galaxy (to their knowledge) , to fill their already humdrum life's with mundane issues and solve them with colorless solutions that often result in more dimensional problems (sometimes on purpose).This became the very pinnacle of human existence, their continued survival hinged on what ball game was next or that one asshole who ran a red light this morning and almost hit a baby that was minding its own business, crawling across the street - with no urgency whatsoever - just trying to get to work. 

Small insignificant things would dictate their moods for the majority of the day. Though temded to make them rather miserable, as an observer you'd watch them with a sort of confusion as to why they'd insist on this behaviour if it really made things that much worse. It made them so 'rather' miserable that eventually the Covet of Interstellar News Travelers (or COINT if you're feeling fancy, or lazy - which I am not) that had been watching the earthlings unknowst to them for a documentary caught second-hand depression and starting blowing their brains off in schools and jumping of buildings hoping for the sweet embrace of death. Needless to say the only reason that the COINT continued on was because of Larry, he was a janitor and he carried the company all the way. Goodjob Larry, maybe one day you'll get that premonition from Janitor to Deputy Toilet Scrubber - as a plus you'll make sure that those asses you've been kissing so hard for years feel, at the very least, somewhat hygienic, or coat the seats with disease whichever you choose.

Eventually the state of Earth got so bad that thw Intergalactic Council of Humdrum Affairs decided to intervene and issued 'The Life Plan'. Partly because the Intergalactic Council of Humdrum Affairs was busy with more important matters such as who would fetch the coffee from Mega Sicren 3 or who would volunteer to get fed to the blood thirsty Binglenrath of Mega Sicren 3, to ensure yearly peace - subsequently because Mega Sicren 3 was the only planet with decent coffee that was in lightyear radius of the planet where they were stationed on, they would be willing to sacrifice anyone from the head chairman to the bum on the side of the road to the Binglenrath. And partly because they were sick to death hearing about the depressed mental state of all humans, also the paperwork it generated alone became a reason to give up and be the lucky one to get fed to the blood thirsty Binglenrath that year. Everyone votes for Keven, not for any particular reason just that no one likes him very much or particularly cares if he gets chewed up by a Binglenrath, thrown up, chewed again, swallowed, processed and later eaten by Suctlebungs - all while still being alive and able to feel pain - until the Suctlebungs of course, its a painful way to go but not undignified.

'The Life Plan' was a simply brilliant idea. It was a set out form that a human infant signed, meaning they're bound to whatever it entails - or at least those were the rules on earth, which to anything even remotely superior meant a very easy way to trick Earth into moving locations somewhere further where they'd die off without the 'Sun' and 'Moon' or as known to everyone else in the galaxy 'An unremarkable ball of burning gass that the earth is close to and will eventually be the end of them' and 'That rock thy was created as a result of the earth's creation, some millions or billions of years ago' . Humans where extremely fragile, and no one cared for it, it was often wondered why the galaxy bothered to keep them around, they were entirely useless

(under construction)


End file.
